Abstinence

My Opinion: Hmm, let’s see if we can imagine what it would be like to live in a world completely devoid of sex.

Cigarette companies would be completely out of business – or their business might be booming seeing as how they offer an easy way to shorten your life, and after all, what is there to really live for in a world without sex. Relationships would be less tricky. There wouldn’t be that whole nasty, “sexual chemistry” thing to have to worry about. Terse and awkward small talk would become the new erotic art that showed how much a man and a woman loved each other. Relationships, of course, would eventually become obsolete all together. Men would learn that if there is no chance for intercourse, then there time is much better spent watching sports with those of the same gender. Women will learn the same thing and colonies will spring up in shopping malls and brunch cafes. There wouldn’t be any “traditional” perverts, but then again, our society would be sure to fill the gap. The new perverts would be those who took too much time waxing their cars or those who wear tight jeans. They would be ostracized and LEI would become completely bankrupt except for a thriving black market business among those purists who feel that their true personality can be only expressed through the snugness of their denim.

Of course the human race would eventually go extinct. Probably sooner than later since the massive amounts of suicide that would occur thanks to the world without sex would be off the charts. People would stop trying to achieve in their careers, since there is really no point to have money or prestige if it doesn’t get you laid. The economy would collapse and the governments (we know those horn dogs can’t function without two or three mistresses) would quickly follow in suit. Those who survive the fallout would look upon the broken world devoid of human life and think: “We can thank abstinence for this.”